Wednesday, September 23, 2015

So long, Hoops by Gypsy...

I think it was around the time that it wasn't fun anymore...

For two and a half years, I have been on a wild adventure. Albeit this adventure was a lonely one, I was doing it. And I was driven to be successful.

I don't really know how else to say it, but I'm closing down shop.

While I was successful by some standards, running a business by yourself isn't an easy task - the understatement of the year. It was around the time that making hoops stopped being fun and my head wasn't in teaching mode that I realized...maybe it was time to give up.

No, not give up. I'm not giving up. I'm moving on. Two and half years have gone by, and I tried my best to make it work. Some of my family might breathe a sigh of relief ("It's a niche market, you know..."), but please know this: I didn't fail.

I succeeded in running a small business out of my home. I sold a hand-made product and shared the hoop love. I succeeded in completing Hoop Love Coach training...and I succeeded in teaching hoop classes. I succeeded in organizing and administratively maintaining my business. I also succeeded in giving back to my community as well as an orphanage in Nepal. And I succeeded in growing as a person.

By no means did I fail. And in no way am I 'giving up.'

The big elephant in the room that I didn't address, however, was why I started all this in the first place. In retrospect (because that's what all of this is...), I was trying to be someone I don't think I really was. And my reoccurring existential crisis throughout all of this was "Who am I?" And when things got hard and it wasn't fun anymore, I realized that maybe this isn't who I was.

But if I'm not Gypsy...who am I? If hoops aren't my thing...then what is?

Yes, I fell in love with hoops in Nepal. And I had decided there that this was how I was going to give back. But why did this thing come to define me?

It evolved into my identifier, and became an obsession instead of a passion. I started to compare myself to other hoopers, other hoop businesses...and suddenly I was faced with my demise.

Hoops were no longer fun. It had become a competition (in my head.) My reactions became harsher and I started to feel negatively and resentful towards my hoops.

So then one day last week, it dawned on me that all of this...was ok. Not always being the centre of the action is ok. Not letting hoops define me is ok. Closing the door on this adventure...that's ok, too. And by writing this (and to who ever is reading this), I'm not quitting, I'm simply closing a door. So that another one can open.

To all the hoop makers out there, kudos. There is a LOT of energy and time that goes in to what you do. There is a lot of money being invested. And a lot of love being put into it. I'm thankful to have had the experience, but I feel that you have everything covered.

I'm thankful to everyone who supported me and helped me along the way. It's been a wild adventure. I proved to myself that I CAN do it. Thank you to Deanne Love and all the crazy beautiful Hoop Love Coaches. It's not good-bye. I'm just closing one facet of this part of my life.

What does all this mean for Hoops by Gypsy?

I'll still be around. Website in tact, if anyone needs anything they can still find me. Maybe I'll teach a hoop class here and there. Or maybe I won't. Either way about it, not judging myself has been the hardest part of all of this. Someone out there might judge me...but that's ok.

In the long run, you have to do what's right for you. Everyone is on their own journey. Hoops will always be a part of mine, but it's time to move forward.

Stay hoopy (lots of love),
gypsy xx