Wednesday, September 23, 2015

So long, Hoops by Gypsy...

I think it was around the time that it wasn't fun anymore...

For two and a half years, I have been on a wild adventure. Albeit this adventure was a lonely one, I was doing it. And I was driven to be successful.

I don't really know how else to say it, but I'm closing down shop.

While I was successful by some standards, running a business by yourself isn't an easy task - the understatement of the year. It was around the time that making hoops stopped being fun and my head wasn't in teaching mode that I realized...maybe it was time to give up.

No, not give up. I'm not giving up. I'm moving on. Two and half years have gone by, and I tried my best to make it work. Some of my family might breathe a sigh of relief ("It's a niche market, you know..."), but please know this: I didn't fail.

I succeeded in running a small business out of my home. I sold a hand-made product and shared the hoop love. I succeeded in completing Hoop Love Coach training...and I succeeded in teaching hoop classes. I succeeded in organizing and administratively maintaining my business. I also succeeded in giving back to my community as well as an orphanage in Nepal. And I succeeded in growing as a person.

By no means did I fail. And in no way am I 'giving up.'

The big elephant in the room that I didn't address, however, was why I started all this in the first place. In retrospect (because that's what all of this is...), I was trying to be someone I don't think I really was. And my reoccurring existential crisis throughout all of this was "Who am I?" And when things got hard and it wasn't fun anymore, I realized that maybe this isn't who I was.

But if I'm not Gypsy...who am I? If hoops aren't my thing...then what is?

Yes, I fell in love with hoops in Nepal. And I had decided there that this was how I was going to give back. But why did this thing come to define me?

It evolved into my identifier, and became an obsession instead of a passion. I started to compare myself to other hoopers, other hoop businesses...and suddenly I was faced with my demise.

Hoops were no longer fun. It had become a competition (in my head.) My reactions became harsher and I started to feel negatively and resentful towards my hoops.

So then one day last week, it dawned on me that all of this...was ok. Not always being the centre of the action is ok. Not letting hoops define me is ok. Closing the door on this adventure...that's ok, too. And by writing this (and to who ever is reading this), I'm not quitting, I'm simply closing a door. So that another one can open.

To all the hoop makers out there, kudos. There is a LOT of energy and time that goes in to what you do. There is a lot of money being invested. And a lot of love being put into it. I'm thankful to have had the experience, but I feel that you have everything covered.

I'm thankful to everyone who supported me and helped me along the way. It's been a wild adventure. I proved to myself that I CAN do it. Thank you to Deanne Love and all the crazy beautiful Hoop Love Coaches. It's not good-bye. I'm just closing one facet of this part of my life.

What does all this mean for Hoops by Gypsy?

I'll still be around. Website in tact, if anyone needs anything they can still find me. Maybe I'll teach a hoop class here and there. Or maybe I won't. Either way about it, not judging myself has been the hardest part of all of this. Someone out there might judge me...but that's ok.

In the long run, you have to do what's right for you. Everyone is on their own journey. Hoops will always be a part of mine, but it's time to move forward.

Stay hoopy (lots of love),
gypsy xx

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

In the light of the moon...

Tonight is the full moon in Sagittarius.  And as we are also in the 2nd day of Hooplovers 40 Days of Flow, this is a great time to harness this energy.

And whether or not you like to believe in the power of the full moon, there's an energy about it that causes shifts. Being aware of this energy allows you to make the decision to utilize it for the better of you and your higher self.

Today's intention in the 40 Days of Flow was 'heart-opening'. Yesterday the intention was 'balance'...and all day I had that word in the forefront of my mind. Today, the whole 'heart-opening' thing was there, but it I didn't really know what to do with it.

'Balance' was easy yesterday. My current adventure right now is re-gaining the balance that I've lost. Re-discovering my joy. Remembering why I started hooping in the first place. It's been a bit of digression, but it has to be done.

But today...'heart-opening'?

One thing that has become very prevalent to me, is that I don't truly understand what it is to love oneself. I am aware of the concept and the magnificent power of self-love. But I don't really get it.

As I was completing my daily chores this evening, I realized that things like self-love and opening up my heart space isn't something that is going to come in one day. This also became clear to me when my friend and co-worker told me that, while I'm very driven and goal-oriented, I want things to happen...and I want them to happen now.

My expectations of self are setting me up for failure (a word I got heck from a self-love coach for using.) I expect certain things to happen quickly. But not even in a perfect world would things just happen at the snap of your fingers.

Self-love will happen over time. And my heart space will surely open over the next 38 days. But not today. And I need to accept that that's ok.

Re-discovering my joy in hooping is allowing me to do other things that make me happy and remember who I am.

In the light of this full moon, I sit in silence and remember who I am. What makes me tick. I strip away the labels and be who I am. Just be. If I can't do that, the simplicity of being, then I can't expect to do much else.

With acceptance and love,

Monday, June 1, 2015

Burnout. The struggle is real.

Go to work. Come home. Work on hoops. Sleep.
The sweet nectar of the gods and goddesses...

Go to work. Come home. Work on hoops. Sleep.

Do event. Don't do as well as you hoped. Come home. Work on hoops. Sleep.

Go to work. Come home. Work on hoops. Sleep.

Teach class. Screw up the flow session. Feel like a terrible hoop teacher.

Go to work. Come home. Work on hoops. Sleep.


And there, my friends, is where Hoops by Gypsy sits today. It's a scary place, but in retrospect, I'm not all that surprised. When your home is also your workplace, you tend to lose balance.

It's important to maintain the very precarious balance of your personal hoop practice, your business, any other jobs you might hold, your relationships (intimate and otherwise), as well as YOU time.

When you have your own business, all you want for it is to succeed. Now, there have been times when I haven't put 110% into my business, but that goes hand in hand with having a life and other work outside your business.

Moving back to Winnipeg in 2014, I had new ground to cover. So it was time to get my poop in a group. I became a certified Hoop Love Coach. I set a LOT of goals. And most of those goals I was able to make.

But after one shitty hoop class (from my perspective it was), and one not-so-great hoop sale...I started to second guess all my hard work.

Was hooping what I really wanted to do? Was it my thing? If I'm not Gypsy, who am I? *cue identity crisis*

And then one day...I didn't even want to LOOK at a hoop, let alone pick one up and actually hoop with it.

I gave it a couple weeks and I've come up with the following conclusions (and don't worry, quitting hooping isn't at all a part of any of them!):
  1. If you own your own business (specifically a hoop one), be mindful of your own daily practices (hoop or not.) Do not mix these practices up with your business or other areas of your life. Take time with these practices and focus on what they do for you. Not your business. 
  2. Take time (if needed) away from your business. It, too, deserves vacation time. If need be, actually take a vacation so you're not at home and surrounded by more business stuff. 
SO...after some time away from hoops (where I didn't pressure myself to always be working or planning to work on something hoop related), I'm ready to pick up a hoop again. But that means that I have to re-establish my relationship with these great circles before I can really get back into the business side of things. 

Lesson learnt, and hopefully this doesn't happen again; however, I now know that running an entire business by yourself actually IS a lot of work, and taking breaks is entirely necessary. 

So no, Hoops by Gypsy isn't going anywhere. But bare with me while I take some time to get back to why I started this grand adventure in the first place.

I still want to stay connected with all of you, so if you need someone to hoop with, you know where to find me

Stay classy,